That cute picture I posted isn’t the whole truth and that’s okay.
I was getting my haircut a few weeks ago. I have been going to the same stylist for about 6 years or so. As she began to cut the usual questions and catching up ensued as normal as it had been a few months since I had last been there. I filled her in on my new job, the twins turning one, and our trip to Disney. The stylist in the chair next to her was also pregnant around the time I was with Hannah and Jonah and has a little boy around their age. She began to ask me questions about their sleep, nursing, eating and such. My stylist at one point joked asking how I juggled it all when she can’t seem to do her own laundry. As she finished my hair and I began to walk away the stylist next to her turned to me and said “you are a super mom” I said something along the lines of “ oh I’m just figuring it out every day” and she looked at me and said ” no really you are”. I smiled and thanked her. I wondered to myself as I walked out “ did I make it sound like I had it all together and could seamlessly juggle work, kids, vacation, home, all with enough time to go to the hair salon without missing a beat?....because it doesn’t feel that way to me.
We all do this, paint a pretty picture or leave out the details we don’t think are worth sharing. We say things are wonderful even when they are not. We pick the one picture where we are all smiling and looking at the camera despite the meltdown that ensued prior or the shoe that got thrown across the room right after. If you came in my house on any given day the only thing I can promise is that the space that Hannah and Jonah play in is safe (...........for now). I can’t promise that I have gotten every cheerio off the floor that was likely crushed by a chair. There are probably clothes and other items piling at the bottom of our staircase. I imagine there will be dishes in the sink and likely remnants of last nights dinner that got stuck in a high chair. If I am being honest most days I am exhausted. The weekends are a break from it and usually I battle between leaving the house to do something or staying home all weekend. Every weekend I have grand plans of organizing or cleaning something and most weekends those things don’t happen. I’m constantly trying to catch up on sleep and making sure I haven’t forgotten to do something important. When someone tells me about something going on in the world or some new show or movie they watched I am usually lost. My hamster wheel keeps spinning and it is not often I get off to do something else. The truth is, that even with all the insanity that ensues every day, we manage to make it through. The impossible always becomes possible in the end. While sometimes it feels like a merry go round and endless cycle, every day is different and every moment something new. On those weekends when all the laundry doesn’t get done and the house is a mess, it’s because I am playing with Hannah and Jonah. I’m watching them dance to the hamster dance on repeat in our living room, watching them talk to each other, and laugh. I’m snuggling them on the couch as they sleep even if I could have put them in their crib for a nap. I’m trying to take in these moments, and yes also keep our lives together along the way.
So, am I a super mom? Well according to my friend Meriam-Webster a supermom is:
Ehhhhh, no. I’m not, and that’s okay, I don’t want to be supermom. That is too much to try to aspire to and unrealistic and sounds exhausting. It was incredibly kind of the stylist to take a moment and acknowledge the things I juggle, because they are pretty super. Do I have it all together?....Absolutely not, does anyone? I am like I am imagine many parents out there are doing; trying. We are all trying our hardest every single day. We are trying to make the right choices, trying to remember to relax, trying to remember to have fun and enjoy the moment. When people ask Rob and I how we do it with twins my answer is the same. "We don't know any better and we are figuring out each day". Twins or not; parenting is an adjustment. I am "super" proud of how much this journey of motherhood has helped me grow, gain patience, and accept imperfections and mistakes as they come.