A Goodbye Letter to My Breast Pump:
Dear Spectra S2 Breast Pump,
What can I say, it’s been quite a run. For the last year we have been attached at the....well....breast almost every day. Some days......well if I’m being honest, most days I despised you. If I was pumping it meant I was usually away from Hannah and Jonah. We have certainly had our ups and downs though. Remember the time your back-flow protecter completely broke in half right in the middle of a work day as I was about to pump? Or the time I knocked over nearly 12 oz of milk while the bottles were still connected to you? Hah......good times.....Don’t get me wrong I really appreciate you; I mean without you I wouldn’t have been able to provide breastmilk to my babies and still go to work. You helped early on making it feasible for Rob to help take a feeding in the middle of the night. You are a workhorse, I mean we have pumped together roughly 800 times, spending around 400 hours together over the last year and you were always dependable and reliable. With all that said, I am really just ready to part ways for now. I’m ready to have some of me back. As much as it has meant the world to me to be able to breastfeed/pump for the last year....you often made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. There were days I would look down and realize I hadn’t made enough milk for the next day and be devastated and in tears. There were countless nights I would stay up late in the hopes of getting a few more precious ounces half asleep at our kitchen table. I mean listen it’s not you....it’s me. I am so thankful for our time together, what you did for me and my family. Yesterday at work as I pumped for the last time and put everything away I felt a little sad but mostly at ease and ready. I’m not sure if this is goodbye forever but it is certainly goodbye for now.